PEACE-JOY-LOVE

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Spring is HERE!!!

  Image by OakleyOriginals

 

"Spring, the very word conjures up images of rebirth, rapidly lengthening days, emerging blossoms and greenery, and the smell of freshness. In the spring season of the human life cycle, we undertake new beginnings, a time when we change the I will statements of our winter planning to I am action statements. We may begin a new job, career, pastime, or relationship. We may start a new lifestyle or alter the old one. Spring is a time for overcoming the inertia of winter rest and springing into action, to sow the seeds of our winter planning which, with careful husbandry, will provide a rewarding harvest come autumn."

-Keith C. Heidorn
Living Gently Quarterly

I'm addicted...

I'm addicted...

yet I don't want rehab

nor interventions

i don't want words of wisdom

nor voice of reason

even when coming from my own head

parts of me wants to eat nothing but cake

and chocolate covered strawberries

even though it makes my stomach hurt

it satisfies me inexplicably

wanting what is forbidden

...hurts me so good

Finding Balance...

So, I survived the past 3 weeks.  I had a non-stop schedule with hardly any downtime...and I was worried about whether I would get overwhelmed and get off track with new positive habits I'm trying to implement in my daily life.  I'm glad to say that I didn't get off track...in fact, my new habits really helped me to stay focused, relaxed, and feel rested. 

As I mentioned in my last post, the new habits I've been incorporating are a daily yoga practice, morning meditation, nightly journaling, and only sleeping in my bed (no eating or working in bed).  Oh my goodness...yoga is so great!  I'm able to release all the negativity I may be holding onto, I build strength and focus, and I still my mind.  I feel so good afterward...it's definitely something I want to keep doing for a long time.  I can't imagine how I lived without it!  I began with Vinyasa Yoga, and as of this week, I've started doing Ashtanga Yoga.  So far, I've learned the Sun Salutation A.  I did it this morning when I woke up...it was nice...:)

One thing I've learned over the past few weeks is the importance of finding balance...maintaining a beautiful harmony in my life.  Whenever I learn something new, and try to practice it in my life...I find that my first attempt is to be completely rigid and extreme.  Then, I get overwhelmed and relax a bit, and find a way to incorporate new concepts in a way that don't exhaust me and still honors my other intentions and desires.  I've had to find a balance with my diet (originally wanted to be vegan), my sleep schedule (wanted to get those 8 hours everyone talks about), my hair (wanted to go natural), being health conscious, and being earth friendly.  There are many extremes in each of these subjects, but I've had to find ways where I can take what I've learned in each and compare them to my current goals, needs, wants, and desires...then, find a balance.

So, for now (meaning, later on I can still change my mind)...I'm not gonna be vegan.  I will go vegan on occasion when I feel I need to cleanse or give my body a rest.  But, this is not a lifestyle that I want to take on.  I've tried it, but it just doesn't work for me.  It's too much of a struggle, and right now it just doesn't resonate with me.  I've given up pork and beef years ago...so, I mostly just eat chicken, fish, and turkey.  What I will focus on though, is making sure that the meat I do eat is organic.  That is an improvement in and of itself.  It's healthier and it's kinder.

As far as my hair goes...I've been growing my relaxer out since June '08.  My reason was that I really wanted to get away from exposing myself to the chemicals involved in the process.  But, after much, much thought and deliberation...I've decided that a relaxer is the best thing for me AT THIS TIME.  I'm really not ready to sport a tiny weeny afro...my head is big (lol!) and a short hairstyle doesn't look the best on me.  That leaves the option of transitioning.  If I'm honest with myself, I know that with working out everyday...I'm NOT going to wash, blow-dry, press and flat iron my hair everyday.  I can barely keep up with once a week.  That would mean sporting a ponytail everyday with gel and leaving sweat in my hair.  Disgusting and a great recipe for breakage!  Plus, I don't like wearing a ponytail everyday, I enjoy wearing my hair down.  And, I'd hardly get to do that, especially with the summer months coming up.  Lastly, I really just had to be honest with myself, and I really don't care if I catch flack for it, but...I just really like my straight hair!  There, I said it.  I don't care if some say I'm brainwashed...but, I just really like my hair straight and I like the options I have with it.  I like that I can wash and go if I choose to.  I just like how I look with straight hair.  So, that's my decision, and I'm sticking to it.  To go back to my original intent, not to expose myself to those chemicals...I've decided that I won't get a relaxer as often.  I've learned through this experience that I can go a long time without a relaxer and my hair is just fine, no breakage.  So, I will get a relaxer every 3-4 months instead of every 2.  That reduces my exposure quite a bit.  I think that's a great balance!  :)

So...this has been my experience with finding balance in my life over the past three weeks.  The bottom line with everything is to learn to just relax and do my best!  I'm not taking myself so seriously anymore.  That's all we can do anyway.  No one on this earth is perfect...everyone has SOMETHING they're trying to improve upon.  Life is to be enjoyed.  It's not meant for us to be SLAVES to rigid concepts and theories with no room for FREEDOM.  And freedom looks and feels different for everyone.  We have to get to a point where we let other people live their lives too...and not judge.  Everyone is doing their best, really.

I must say that I feel good!  I'm really excited about things I have lined up to begin over the spring and summer months.  I'll keep you posted on those.  Let's just say, I'm getting back into my music, I'll be in the beginning stages of school to become a spiritual life coach, and I'll be incorporating more environmental work into my current career.  I can't wait for spring!!  :-)

Finding downtime...

When I was younger, I had the most jam packed weeks.  Each day consisted of a some tangled combination of school, extra curricular activites, church, church, and more church, choir, bible study, piano lessons, karate, swimming lessons, trips, recitals, etc...and church again...lol.  I never had a day off...hahaha...but, I was cool!  So...why is it that now, as an adult, I feel like I can't make it unless I have a day off???  I'm always looking forward to Fridays...yes...I can sleep in tomorrow.  I can stay in my pajamas all day if I want.  I can eat in my bed, in my pajamas, with my mac book and my cell phone, order Chinese, and never get up...PERFECTION!  I absolutely LOVE my bed, being in my bed, with sunlight coming through the windows...and just....ahhhhh, no responsibilities!  Everything's all good...

...Until...I find out that I'm going to be out of town THREE WEEKENDS IN A ROW!  Yes, it's exciting cause I'm going to have fun and be with people I love.  But, what about my time to do absolutely...NOTHING???  I feel myself getting cranky just thinking about it.  BUT, I realize that this is great practice for my future.  In my future, I'll have kids...I'll be a singer, writer, environmentalist, and a spiritual life coach.  Not many days off there!  So...how will I deal?

I'm trying something new. 

1.  Find something you like to do, and do it regularly.  I'm starting to practice yoga on a regular basis (just started Wednesday).  Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga...its very challenging, yet stills my mind, releases my stress, and brings me a sense of peace.  An hour and a half of pure sweaty bliss! 

2.  Treat your bedroom as your sanctuary.  I've read that people sleep better when they only use their bed for sleeping and sex...lol.  I think there may be something to that...cause I do EVERYTHING in my bed, working, talking on the phone,reading, journaling, blogging, websurfing, etc.  But lately, it's been hard for me to unwind and go to sleep when I'm done.  It's also suggested that we keep the number of electronics in the room to a minimum.  I'm kinda attached to my mac book...so, we'll see about that one...;-)

3.  Find time to pray or meditate each day.  It's so beneficial to find time, even if it's just 5 minutes, to steal away from the world and all it's worries and just breathe.  This is the ultimate vacation, just focusing on God/Source and who we are separate from our egos and labels.  Simply breathing and being still.  I've tried to do this in the mornings before work...haven't been so successful cause I'm so sleepy!  But, perhaps after I instill suggestions 1 & 2...this will become easier to do.

I'm hoping that these three changes will help.  I'll keep you guys posted.  I'm learning as I'm teaching on this one!  But, hopefully I won't need a whole Saturday to "recover" from my week anymore.  Hopefully I'll learn to practice mindfulness, living in the present moment and being grateful for each moment.  Hopefully I'll learn how to bring joy into my daily life so that each day feels like a lazy Saturday, even with a jam packed crazy schedule! 

How do you deal with YOUR daily stresses?  I'd love to hear your suggestions!

Relax...

"Every single person on the planet and every single Consciousness in the Universe has the same experience of being here and having a desire to be there.  In other words, it is the promise of this eternal Universe... You're always, always, always going to be on your way to something more---ALWAYS.  And when you RELAX and accept that, and stop beating up on yourself for not being someplace that you're not, and instead, start embracing where you are while you keep your eye on where you're going--- now life becomes really, really, really FUN! "

-Abraham-Hicks

Moving on...

As we evolve and grow in our lives, we may find that not everyone evolves or grows with us.  This doesn't mean that anything or anyone is wrong...it simply means you're growing apart.  It can be hard to deal with if we don't recognize what is happening.  It's important that we honor this process and honor the time that was shared, the lessons that were learned, and the love that should never be forgotten.  This person helped to mold you into the beautiful person you are today.  Saying goodbye, or simply letting go, should be done with sensitivity and with care...always giving the other person the utmost respect they deserve. 

So sweet...

Juicy like a sweet organic orange
I smile as your citrus kisses send tingles to my ears
rejuvenating my senses
Your scent is like fresh air
 
better than sugar
you send me on a natural high
my body rejoices as it welcomes you
your healing touches make my soul cry
 
eagerly i undress you
i yearn for your yummy goodness
layer by layer...
slice by slice
 
once revealed i see now
parts of you only for me to enjoy
i could share, but i dare not
for i'm like a spoiled child with my favorite toy

You remind me...

I wanted to be mad at you, I wanted to cuss you out...I wanted to stop talking to you.  Anything to make you stop with the criticism and the judgments.  It's as if you ALWAYS have something to say.  It's really annoying, like a mosquito that keeps buzzing in my ear.  I try and try to shoo it away...but it keeps coming back...BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZZZZZZ!!!  Then, when I just try to be calm and ignore it, the darned thing has the nerve to BITE me...ughhhh!!  Now I'm all itchy, and my skin is blotchy...gee thanks!  I'm damned if I do, and I'm damned if I don't.

But, wait....you remind me.  Like Mary J. Blige says, you remind me of a love that I once knew.  Is it me or is this Deja Vu?  Yeah, sure, there have been others who were critical or judgmental.  But, you...remind me of someone a little more familiar...someone closer to home.  Could it be...you remind me of ME?!?  Oh shit...you remind me of how I can be sometimes with others.  Even worse, you remind me of how I am with myself!  The constant criticizing thoughts and judgmental beliefs.  The constant putting myself down.  It seems my mind ALWAYS has something to say!

Well, lookyhere!  The Universe has brought me someone...a physical representation of my inner thoughts.  My, you look beautiful, but darling the annoyance factor is not very becoming!  Hmmm...perhaps if I learn how to be in harmony with you...I'll also learn how to be in harmony with my thoughts.  Aha!  Perhaps I'll slather on and smooth my skin with some yummy smelling Skin-So-Soft...that way we can co-exist without you biting and I don't have to squish you!  :-)

On being supportive...

I think a lot of times we want to fix things...we want to rescue people...we want to be able to stamp our name on it/them and say "I did that".  We want to wear our capes and puff out our chests.  We want to hold our trophies high so everyone can see them and congratulate us on our victory.  We want to win this person over, or change that situation to be in our favor.  All in the name of being "supportive", a "friend", "nice"...etc.  But, I don't think this behavior is any of these.  I call it being manipulative, I call it stroking our ego.

If we are really being supportive, really being a friend, really being nice, we won't be mad or frustrated when the outcome isn't in our favor.  We won't stop talking to our friend because they won't take our advice.  We won't judge someone because WE perceive they're making a big mistake.  We won't cringe when situations don't change in our favor.  Instead, we will be okay...because we realize that we are not God and cannot possibly see the whole picture.

We cannot judge other people and their situations.  How can we say what is best for someone else?  Even if someone is doing something we think is a huge mistake, guess what?  The universe is helping them to learn a lesson, in their own time, in their own way.  So relax.  Next time you find yourself angry or frustrated because "I'm trying to be supportive and how DARE they not see I'm wearing my cape!", ask yourself...are you wearing that cape for them...or is it really just all about you???